I had a talk with somebody that I love yesterday about couples living together before marriage. I wasn’t too articulate. I should have prepared more for this time. The Lord woke me up at 4:00 asking me to clarify myself. He didn’t like my sloppy work here, and I am supposed to be a Christian Communicator. I did my homework, and revisited the concepts that I knew, but hadn’t done a very good job of conveying. Of course, the day before your loved one moves in with her boyfriend isn’t exactly the right time to bring this up.I hope that you are systematically teaching these principles to the young people that you love by example and words. I hope this blog will help you communicate the value of marriage and family, and why it’s worth waiting for.
Decide What You Believe
This might seem way too basic to you, but I have to put it first because it is the underpinning of the home and family, and really Western Civilization. If you say that you are a Christian, then what does that mean? It means literally “Christ follower.” I am sorry if anyone gave you the idea that there is such a thing as “fire insurance”, where you can repeat a prayer, or go down an aisle, or even add a baptism ceremony, and become a Christian if you do not want to follow Christ. What I mean is, that God looks on the heart, not the outward appearance. Jesus never said, “Come, get a free ticket to heaven by repeating these words or going through a ceremony.” On the contrary, He said, “If any man wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Matt. 16:24) Jesus also said that anybody that didn’t want to do this is not worthy of Him. (Matt. 10:38) In another place Jesus asked, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46) He also said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15).
What does it mean to “follow Jesus?” Does it mean that you never do anything wrong? No. The point here is not that a follower of Jesus is perfect, or never needs correction or Godly discipline. It’s that when we realize something we are doing goes against what God teaches in the Bible, we ask God to help us fix it. We turn away from that thing and turn to God. If your life is not marked by this willingness, do you truly feel you should be calling yourself a Christ follower? Evidently Jesus doesn’t think so. ” Read this passage from Matthew 27:
21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
The Wise and Foolish Builders
24“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” 28When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, 29because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.
A person who really believes in Jesus has to know what He taught. Then he or she is responsible to live His way, which is written down for us in the Bible. Next we will explore what the Bible says about relationships. But before you go, let me assure you that there are many totally secular reasons backed up by research to avoid living with someone without being married to them. We’ll get there!